Contentment

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I’m sitting on the couch, looking at my new apartment’s damaged ceiling. The day we moved in a waterline burst, causing a massive leak. The problem was eventually fixed, but not until many containers of water had been dumped and the ceiling started to cave in. It’s in the process of being repaired, but it doesn’t look very pretty.

The apartment is also a mess, as most places are when you first move into them. School is rapidly approaching and I have to buy books. I desperately need to schedule an appointment with an eye doctor and get new glasses. I’m behind in blog posts and other writing goals. Most of my socks have holes in them.

Life is no more or less messy than it usually is, but at the moment I’m feeling pretty good about the messy parts. Contentment is a phase that seems to come and go for me, but when it does decide to stick around for a while, I hold on tight. Crazy happiness is a wonderful feeling and ice-cream-eating sadness has its place, but there is nothing like waking up in the morning, drinking coffee, and feeling utterly at peace. Those are the days that even the biggest problems seem fixable, or at least tolerable, and I just know that I’m where I want to be.

Contentment will give way to something else, probably sooner rather than later, but it helps keep me sane between those times. Being able to just appreciate everything for what it is is a sobering and necessary experience. As I go about the rest of my day, relishing the calm that blankets my soul, I will find happiness in the simple fact that I am alive.

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